Fear Monger is proud to announce the opening of our New York bureau - a multi-thousand dollar, one-bedroom apartment overlooking Manhattan on the banks of the fragrant and sensibly-named East River.  Our new international operation will hopefully stimulate conversation, provoke self-examination (both emotional and testicular) and will almost inevitably invite serious scrutiny from global human rights watchdog groups.

My name is Mickle Jickens.  I was formerly apprentice to the legendary Chef Bert at his restaurant Da Bert in Bosa, Sardinia.  I met Barry Lird one glorious day last spring while he was on holiday, and came in to dine at the restaurant.  Despite having no formal education, no knowledge of English, no real knowledge of any other language, severely retarded motor skills and a bleeding eye, something I did that day impressed Barry.  The next thing I knew I was at Barry's compound, Barrytown, aka Lird World.   

After over a year of being what most people would call "held hostage," and having undergone countless, humiliating hours of what Barry refers to as "training," here I am.  Ready to contribute everything I have to the cause at hand:  Mongering Fear.