Went to the gold medal ceremony party at Club Bud, a club that Budweiser opened for the Olympics. Free beer all night. I walked around offering to buy girls beer because I was doing very well as a volunteer in Beijing. Theres a crazy room with a dancefloor, a lounge situation, and an outdoor area with a pool and several cabanas. Rhonaldino occupied one of them. After almost falling in the pool, I resorted to the clubby room where, swallow, laser lights and thumping beats seemed appropriate for my mood. The US women's basketball team showed up. No Candace Parker though, so who cares. I offered to buy a Swedish handball player, Johanna, a beer. She laughed and we started dancing; first in a group with her giant handball teammates, but then alone. The first time we bumped I was thrust several feet backwards. Maybe because she's a 6'1 Olympian, or maybe because I'd bought too many drinks. Either way, I had to support myself in a lunge position as we cut it up the rest of the night. She invited me back to the Olympic Village to eat free McDonald's. As we parted ways I asked for her phone number. She simply said, "No," but gave me her email as a consolation. Woke up three hours later. Hopped to the IBC to catch the media bus to the Basketball stadium. Saw the second half of the bronze medal game and cheered the shit out of Nocioni. Cheered my balls off during the USA game. Somebody buy me a beer. A Spanish journalist got mad at me for clapping, not cheering. He pulled out a newspaper and pointed to the medal count with china atop it. His point was lost on me. His colleagues gestured towards him, rolling their eyes and pointing their pointer fingers at the sides of their heads, rotating them circularly. Got misty-eyed during the medal ceremony. Met Doug Collins. Took pictures on the court. Went to the press conference where the whole team sat wrapped in American flags. They took turns bagging on a Swedish reporter for asking a dumb question. Turns out in FIBA play, there is such a thing as a stupid question. Shook Chris Paul's, Michael Redd's, D-Wade's, and Bosh's hands after the conference. Gave a formal handshake and sincere congratulations to Coach K (because his life is about never settling), and Obama-bumped Kobe. I was visibly erect throughout. Afterwards, I ate an entire large pizza by myself and passed out at 7 P.M. Makeshift closing ceremony, but who gives a fuck?